Homebody (Mini-Essay #7)

Ten things about lupus life and trauma recovery

This is part of a series about living with lupus and trauma recovery. I hope those of you with chronic illness or struggling with your mental health might feel less alone as you read these. This is also written for those who want to care, but need an insider’s perspective to help you develop compassion and empathy.

8. On Staying Home.

I have never been a homebody. When a friend asked me about my schedule this year it hit me how strange it was that extroverted me could survive. For most of the week, I only leave home to pick up my kids from school. I even have someone else do my shopping for me!

Yes, as a writer I need time to write (vs. hangout with people). As a parent of four, I am frequently overwhelmed my family’s needs. I have a baby who naps. Staying home makes sense.

Even so, this is just c r a z y. I used to not even be able to survive unless I adventured at least weekly. And I saw lots of people all the time—at least one person a day. I thrived going from meeting to meeting, place to party. But now? I am usually just at home. With my family. Sure, when I can I have coaching calls for my business. Or I’ll have a doctor or therapy call. I try to catch up with my extended family on Zoom or Marco Polo. But even then, it is rarely more than once a day. This has been my life.

What weirds me out the most is that I often choose this. Maybe summer will change that, but I guess this schedule has been all I can handle.

I wonder if I still exist under the protective shell I have built around me called home.

At Home. So Much.

• Read the rest of this series:

  • Waves, Breakers and Red Helicopters

  • Please Don't Simplify the Complexities (Mini-Essay #1)

  • Pharmacy (Mini-Essay #2)

  • PTSD Et Al. (Mini-Essay #3)

  • Not-So-Friendly Insomnia (Mini-Essay #4)

  • Phantom Pain (Mini-Essay #5)

  • Hello, Hair! (Mini-Essay #6)

  • Homebody (Mini-Essay #7)

  • The Scars (Mini-Essay #8)

  • Betrayal (Mini-Essay #9)

  • Grief for a Lost Year (Mini-Essay #10)

• Here are other lupus/trauma related posts from the last year-and-a-half:House of Life, Washing Hands, Do Your Job Well, and the Lupus, Pregnancy, and Autoimmune Illness series posted at AverageAdvocate.com.

• On Average Advocate this week: Receiving Kindness When You Rather Give It

• Follow me on Instagram @AuthenticallyElisa