Hello, Hair! (Mini-Essay #6)
Ten things about lupus life and trauma recovery
This is part of a series about living with lupus and trauma recovery. I hope those of you with chronic illness or struggling with your mental health might feel less alone as you read these. This is also written for those who want to care, but need an insider’s perspective to help you develop compassion and empathy.
6. Weird hair for me.
When I first was diagnosed with lupus, I had an itchy, painful, scaly rash on the top of my head. I also rapidly started losing my hair. Clumps would come out and it thinned drastically.
Thankfully, hair loss stopped for about six months. But then last year, I went through a couple months when I started losing all my hair again. I told my husband I would shave my head if it didn’t stop—I felt very self-conscious. Thankfully, over the fall my hair started growing back. And it grew back strange and weird, sticking out and fluffing.
I didn’t realize how much hair I did lose until it started regrowing. There was another layer that spread through the first layer that was a different length. That was the frizzy layer, at first one inch long, then two. Now it is about four inches long, almost enough to put into a bun but not entirely. Double braids seem to capture the new hair best. It is very frizzy, and sometimes I can form it into positions without using any product and it will stay. I also only need to wash my hair once a week now, which is great!
I never realized how hard it would be to suddenly lose your hair. I felt like it’s loss would only be validated if it was shaved. When someone’s illness causes them to lose all of their hair, we sympathize. But that in-between, when you lose some but not all of it, it seems like it shouldn’t matter. But losing your hair, no matter how much or for what reason, it does matter.
Hair loss reminds us of the impermanence of life, vitality, and beauty. It causes us to face our frailty.
Read the rest of this series:
Please Don't Simplify the Complexities (Mini-Essay #1)
Pharmacy (Mini-Essay #2)
PTSD Et Al. (Mini-Essay #3)
Not-So-Friendly Insomnia (Mini-Essay #4)
Phantom Pain (Mini-Essay #5)
Hello, Hair! (Mini-Essay #6)
Homebody (Mini-Essay #7)
The Scars (Mini-Essay #8)
Betrayal (Mini-Essay #9)
Grief for a Lost Year (Mini-Essay #10)
Here are other lupus/trauma related posts from the last year-and-a-half:House of Life, Washing Hands, Do Your Job Well, and the Lupus, Pregnancy, and Autoimmune Illness series posted at AverageAdvocate.com.
On Average Advocate this week: Receiving Kindness When You Rather Give It
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