Stillness and Misconceptions about a "Word for the Year"
The sorting hat, offense, and where we get it wrong and right
On one of the first uninterrupted nights since my baby was born, I found myself laying in bed awake. I glanced at my watch. Two hours. It already took me over an hour to fall asleep—I typed with my thumbs on my phone in the inky midnight dark—and now I was losing more sleep.
I cursed the irony of it. I cursed the dawn peaking in from behind my curtains. I cursed my blasted mind that wouldn’t stop spinning. It was anything but still.
Wait—curse “stillness” too!
I Don’t Want My Word of the Year
I have been debating what my “word of the year” should be for a couple weeks now. Not long ago, I was given a gift emblazoned with the word “Stillness,” and yet it was a gift from a person who had deeply hurt me. A few days later, a woman I know read a verse from the ancient prophetic book of Isaiah,
This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: “Only in returning to me and resting in me will you be saved. In quietness and confidence is your strength. But you would have none of it.” Isaiah 35:15
I found myself in the night pulling on these words to try to calm my anxieties, urging my thoughts to be still. It shouldn’t be a surprise that “stillness” popped in my mind as soon as I began considering a word of the year.
I immediately rebelled against it.
Can You Have a Bad Word of the Year?
Although I’ve been doing a word of the year for longer than I remember, over the last three years my words were never played out as I thought they would. “Soft” was for 2020, and I hated it before I even had to become pliable. I was optimistic about 2021’s “Bold.” Yet I didn’t know that the primary way that I would grow in boldness would be through conflict and suffering.
Last year was “Plow,” as in carving, pushing in adversity, and persevering—like an icebreaker ship in Nordic seas. I had wanted something more hopeful than this, and yet this word came to me like a flood in the middle of the night, adjectives included. So did 2022, rolling in on one trauma after the next. With it came with a promise, that God would help me when the ice was too thick.
Did you know that icebreaker ships can glide on the ice when it is unbreakable? I found myself studying marine blogs like this as I began digging into my word of the year.
The Sorting Hat
If any of you are familiar with the story of Harry Potter, you’ll probably know exactly what I mean when I say that that choosing a word for the year is like getting your house from the sorting hat. But for those of you who aren’t part of the Potterverse, I’ll explain.
In each book, an old hat is pulled out to place the kids into their respective groups for their duration at Hogwarts Boarding School. The hat sings a silly sort of song, and yet the song is almost prophetic for what will occur in that story. It usually has encouragement to stick together, persevere, or fight for what is good. Then, each student has the hat placed over the head and it shouts out what house each kid will belong to.
In one of the books, Harry is obsessing that he was placed in the wrong house. His identity is shaken. Maybe he really isn’t brave like his dad! Did the sorting hat make a mistake? Should he really belong to the house that produces selfish, ambitious and often downright evil adults?
To Harry’s relief, a wise person informed him that Harry also had influence over which house he went to. It wasn’t just a supernatural thing that occurred, with the hat peering inside Harry and choosing for him. Not only did the hat sense who Harry could be, but he could hear Harry’s desires to be a courageous Gryffindor, like his dad. That was why the sorting hat announced Harry as “Gryffindor!”
The Mystical Word
Maybe that story is better used to discuss discovering our identities. But I also think it sheds light on how some of us approach finding a word for a year, especially among Christians. We can get hijacked looking for something mystical.
For example, in the fall of 2021 of “Boldness,” I found myself concerned that I hadn’t been spiritual enough in choosing it. That second half of the year with lupus and an unplanned risky pregnancy didn’t seem like it had much at all to do with my word of the year. I thought “Boldness” would mostly look like me pursuing publication of my book! I considered other significant words that year and wondered if I chose wrong. I was actually worried I missed something!
But that didn’t serve me. Now I am grateful for how I grew in boldness in that season where I had to advocate for Kai’s and my own survival.
Maybe it isn’t searching for the supernatural in the mundane that hinders you. I know others who want a word, but don’t choose one for other reasons. They are afraid they will get it wrong or maybe they aren’t sure if there is a perfect one. But these are misconceptions.
Like with the sorting hat, words don’t just have to be given to us. They can be claimed.
Offended Much?
I can recognize now that I am offended by the word, “Stillness.” As I mentioned, I am offended at my friend who both gave this word to me and hurt me.
But I am also offended at God for offering this word to me. Truthfully? I thought I had stillness figured out! I want to defend myself—I spent collective weeks in the hospital this last year! Immobility—forced stillness—has been at the top of my list of battles. I was bedridden, handicapped, and then unable to walk more than a short spurt because of extreme anemia. Don’t I know stillness? And this doesn’t even include how often I would lay there, practicing stilling my mind in the face of terrible worries.
But if I am honest with you and take an authentic inventory of myself, that type of rest and peace in me still isn’t my norm. I do want to be still in my mind, with quietness and confidence my strength. I am just scared of what needs to transpire on the outside of my life to actually gain this type of peace in trouble, the type that according to Isaiah, will be my rescue.
Can I take a word that might be good for me, even if I am offended by? Many of the greatest leaders have histories where offensive feedback was given to them, and their response was what helped them become the greats they became. I am also challenged by Jesus. He often offended people, or used offensive methods to speak. Come on, “eat my flesh and drink my blood?” I don’t even follow crazy dietary rules and that one would be hard to swallow (pun intended). And yet Jesus blessed those who didn’t run, stumble, fall away in offense. (Matthew 11:6).
With that being said, I receive and choose “Stillness” as my word of the year. And because I can, I think I’ll add “Authenticity” too. After all, who said there only has to be one word of the year?!
Honest Truths About Choosing a Word of the Year
Below are some other useful truths to clarify misconceptions about having a word of the year. I am sure you will notice that I already talked about how quite a few of these—the rest I’ll have to cover next year. I hope that as you read them, something will stand out that will either challenge you or help you as you move forward.
Just because we'd like a specific word for the year, doesn't bestow on
it supernatural power or mystical meaning.
Still, those who seek a word for the year will find one.
Choosing a word will not guarantee or create genuine life change.
Pursuing and pushing into a word can result in real transformation.
A word of the year will come alive, morphing and expanding
Our words will often end up meaning something very different than what we expected them to mean.
We will not like or enjoy all that word has set out to teach us that year.
Intentionally embracing our words, and all their facets, will grow and change us in good ways.
Let me know which of these you needed to hear!
Love,
E
